My P90X Journey: Day 4 – In which the ‘ga’ of ‘yoga’ is the noise I make when my spine seizes up

Okay, I have a bone to pick with Mr. Tony Horton, rippling muscle man of the P90X series. I get that the ‘X’ stands for ‘extreme’ and all that. However, when leading an exercise routine like yoga – one that has a very specific language associated with it – it might be an interesting idea to spend just a few minutes at the start of the DVD explaining what each pose means. When you have me twisted into ‘broken spine 2’ and you want me to transition seemlessly into ‘hernia 4’, it’s awfully tough for me to do a Linda Blair and look at the screen to see what ‘hernia 4’ looks like. Just saying…

OK, rant over. Let me tell you, Yoga X is as advertised. An hour-and-a-half of torturous, body-mangling, ego-shattering… well, pain. Sheer pain. I’ve taken maybe five yoga classes in my life, and this was nothing like any of them. This was yoga on meth, a sick game of solo twister on crack.

Warrior three? As far as I knew, warriors one and two were enough. But, no, apparently you need a third version if you’re going after a full complement of mayhem.

Crane? Excuse me? Crane? What? Seriously – have a look at this and imagine trying to do it on the fourth day of a workout program.

Added bonus surprise – because the AbRipper X three times a week isn’t enough, Yoga X comes with its own little mini-set of ab exercises. Oh joy!

Now, on the plus side, all of the stretching involved took out a lot of the soreness from the previous workouts. So that’s something, right?

Next? Legs, back, and – whee! – AbRipperX once more.

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